Story of House of Kindred
It all started in 2014. I was pregnant with my second baby. Fin, my oldest was in the throes of his terrible twos. I don't know if it was the hormones, or just carrying around all that extra weight, but I was exhausted. My husband Dan was working long hours keeping his family business running while his dad battled a very long and strenuous bout of cancer. My parents didn't live close by, and my in-laws were on the front lines at the hospital with their patriarch. I felt guilty for feeling lonely, and to be completely honest I was starting to feel resentful. When I wasn't at the hospital wrangling a tyrant two-year-old, I was at home cleaning up after him... Where was my village? They say "it takes a village"... but they don't tell you where to find that village. And they certainly don't tell you that you must conjure that village. I knew I needed help, and I needed more than physical help. I needed emotional and spiritual support. I needed feminine energy around me. I was feeling emotionally empty, which meant it was impacting my precious two-year-old baby and most probably my unborn baby. I was having a hard time slowing down enough to really be there for him. My head was a whirl of dishes, laundry, craft time, preparing food, Wiggles, new paint, size 0000, backache, reflux and doing doing doing. I started longing for a more tribal community where the women work together cooking and cleaning, singing and raising the children. Where the vulnerable are looked after, and there is always someone to talk, laugh or cry with. Where children run wild but respected the “no” of any adult voice. Where women really know each other and empathy and compassion rules hearts. Where gentle advise and understanding replace judgment and competition.
This is when I started planning my first Mother Blessing. I had unsure feelings about whether it was socially acceptable to plan my own blessing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I searched and searched for the right layout, theme, recipes, and paper for invitations…… and I researched, and researched and researched. I needed this event to make a significant change to my mental state. I read about ritual and ceremony, I read scientific studies, I read about aromatherapy, colour therapy, energy healing, henna, pretty much anything on ancient women’s business. And eventually I put together a plan for my own Mother Blessing. By the time the day rolled around I was ready… although the planning and all the reading was quite cathartic, I was still in need of a large dose of love, kindness and energy. I was unprepared for the impact it had on me though. I wrote the important stuff down for my sister in law, so she could MC the blessing for me. And I relaxed. As soon as the henna started, I knew I had done exactly what needed to be done. The magic of the henna seeped in through my skin and into my nervous system. I could feel the love emanating from my lovely friends’ hand into my soul. I felt my little cup filling up. Each activity layered more and more love, not just on me but on everyone who attended. We sat in a circle, inside a bubble of love.
When it was over, and we all went to our separate homes, we all took our own piece of that bubble. I walked around in my section of love bubble for a long time. One of the things that I often worried about (before the Mother Blessing) was not being able to love my new baby as much as I loved my first baby. When my first was born I was shocked at my own compacity to love him. For some reason I was feeling like that couldn’t happen again. I even started believing that my parents may not have loved me as much as they loved my older sister, because how could you love anything or anyone more than you love your first born… It turns out that ones compacity to love is only limited to that one’s belief of their own compacity. On the day of My mother Blessing my compacity to love was challenged. As my cup filled, it also grew, and I found that I could hold a mountain of love. I also had a mountain to share. And it turns out I had plenty of love for my new little baby. I had so much love I needed to share it further and wider. I started planning mother blessings for my friends. I wanted them to feel full and strong, like anything was possible, supported and totally completely loved and nurtured. I was lucky enough to have a very fertile group of friends, and I got to plan quite a lot of blessings. Welcoming my precious kindred into motherhood.